http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xuMwfUqJJM
Everyone Else Is Boring also, I'm a pervert...?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Eating Pussy
I like it, mainly because I like being catered to and having "my time to shine" in bed but it's not the be all end all to me. I'm kind of a huge fan of dick penetration. (Not necessarily a kind fan of huge dick penetration--yuk yuk).
Don't get me wrong, it's nice and all but I think it's just not rough enough for me?
Hmmmm....
Colonel Angus
I'm A Runner (for Various Reasons)
So, I started running back in September because I wanted to look good. Pretty selfish but kind of the norm, right?
Now that it's in the negatives in my town (like freezing ass cold, for those of you who were confused) and the snow can be up to my knees in some places. And I still feel as if I want to run. Why, you may ask? Well, I still want to get this ass to look like a red delicious that a person would just want to sink their teeth into, but I also NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
My kids are 2 and 5 so I decided to quit my job as a magazine editor (waaaaay cooler then it sounds) and open up my own daycare from home. So I am inside, with kids, cleaning and cooking, all day.
All day. No adults. No sexy banter. Not even talk about changing the fucking toner in the printer. It's like I'm in my own version of hell. Sometimes.
Other times it's just a bit stiffling.
So if I can go out and talk my mouth off to some unsuspecting running group members (or soccer coaches, dance instructors, theatre attendees, cashiers, gas bar attendants...) then I'm friggin' well going to.
Plus, in my group there are 3 hilarious dudes (the dudes in the picture above, to be exact) who meet at the The Yard for beers afterwards. And these guys are super fun, interesting, well-traveled, and generally as amaze-balls as they come. Guy in glasses is retired but runs, plays soccer instructs a walking class, and drinks a lot of beer and eats a lots of fries (woot woot!). Guy in red shirt owns his own recording studio, takes care of his daughter's baby, and knows literally everyone in town. And last dude is a teacher, writes and records children's songs (like, has a CD, etc.), plays in a celtic band and also plays soccer. I mean....I'd like to see the thirty something guys I meet to have HALF as much going on in their lives. And be half as much fun to drink with. And have kids that have already been raised!
So I may just go so I can have some pints with these guys. Since Dallas (husband character in my life) won't let me hang out with him anymore. Because I get ridiculously drunk? Or something...whatever.
Back to older dudes being amazing:
(WARNING: Gratuitous sexy shot of W. Brett Wilson--sexy entrepreneur extraordinaire with actually, a really fun website...oh, and serious sex appeal. Did I mention I found him sexually attractive?)
I've always had a thing for Professor types and by that I mean older dudes or seemingly older dudes with lots to um, teach me, a condescending attitude, and general air of knowledge and power. Yummmmm.....
Oh right, back to running. I pretty much do everything right now to be sexually attractive to people because I feel like I am getting old and losing my general je ne sais quoi so I have to try harder to be cute. Also, I think that being an athlete is powerful and I want to obtain that power and lord it over others, mostly in a manipulatively sexual way but not limited to that, of course.
I have a job that has no pay raises, no better positions, nothing to attain to, really. So I guess I've chosen this to focus on. I guess that makes me shallow but I've spent so many years trying to be deep and just denying my base instincts (mostly as a teenager) that I just want to "do me" and if that means...well, whatever that means I'ma gonna do it. Withing reason-ish.
Hope you'll come along for the ride.
And I welcome any comments you may have along the way.
xoxo
Roxanne
(From Jingle Bell Run in November, I'm third from the left)
Now that it's in the negatives in my town (like freezing ass cold, for those of you who were confused) and the snow can be up to my knees in some places. And I still feel as if I want to run. Why, you may ask? Well, I still want to get this ass to look like a red delicious that a person would just want to sink their teeth into, but I also NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
My kids are 2 and 5 so I decided to quit my job as a magazine editor (waaaaay cooler then it sounds) and open up my own daycare from home. So I am inside, with kids, cleaning and cooking, all day.
All day. No adults. No sexy banter. Not even talk about changing the fucking toner in the printer. It's like I'm in my own version of hell. Sometimes.
Other times it's just a bit stiffling.
So if I can go out and talk my mouth off to some unsuspecting running group members (or soccer coaches, dance instructors, theatre attendees, cashiers, gas bar attendants...) then I'm friggin' well going to.
Plus, in my group there are 3 hilarious dudes (the dudes in the picture above, to be exact) who meet at the The Yard for beers afterwards. And these guys are super fun, interesting, well-traveled, and generally as amaze-balls as they come. Guy in glasses is retired but runs, plays soccer instructs a walking class, and drinks a lot of beer and eats a lots of fries (woot woot!). Guy in red shirt owns his own recording studio, takes care of his daughter's baby, and knows literally everyone in town. And last dude is a teacher, writes and records children's songs (like, has a CD, etc.), plays in a celtic band and also plays soccer. I mean....I'd like to see the thirty something guys I meet to have HALF as much going on in their lives. And be half as much fun to drink with. And have kids that have already been raised!
So I may just go so I can have some pints with these guys. Since Dallas (husband character in my life) won't let me hang out with him anymore. Because I get ridiculously drunk? Or something...whatever.
Back to older dudes being amazing:
I've always had a thing for Professor types and by that I mean older dudes or seemingly older dudes with lots to um, teach me, a condescending attitude, and general air of knowledge and power. Yummmmm.....
Oh right, back to running. I pretty much do everything right now to be sexually attractive to people because I feel like I am getting old and losing my general je ne sais quoi so I have to try harder to be cute. Also, I think that being an athlete is powerful and I want to obtain that power and lord it over others, mostly in a manipulatively sexual way but not limited to that, of course.
I have a job that has no pay raises, no better positions, nothing to attain to, really. So I guess I've chosen this to focus on. I guess that makes me shallow but I've spent so many years trying to be deep and just denying my base instincts (mostly as a teenager) that I just want to "do me" and if that means...well, whatever that means I'ma gonna do it. Withing reason-ish.
Hope you'll come along for the ride.
And I welcome any comments you may have along the way.
xoxo
Roxanne
#whatshouldwecallme
When I Text My Male Friends an "LOL" After Mauling Them the Night Before and They Ignore Me
Everyone Else Is Boring
Below reads a letter to my friend Kate:
We need to plan a trip just you and I somewhere. Montreal? Or do you have somewhere else in mind. I'm easy peasy.
It might not be for a year or two but it will give me something to look forward to.
On another note: Dallas has banned me from going out with his friends as I become so drunk and disorderly. Last time I rubbed his friends thigh, the guys did my hair (where did they get elastics from, and why did I let them do it?), I passed out in my booth, and then puked on the way home. In our car. :( It was chinese food from Genesis. Vermicelli...anyway....
I had a blast though and wasn't at all hungover the next day. Yah!
So now I have no friends here which sucks. I have a clothes club with Granny (you meet once a month to bitch with a bunch of ladies and eat treats and everyone puts in $25 dollars and then we draw names to see who wins the pot. All the money has to be spent on something for yourself (purse, coat, shoes, etc.) It's fun but it's not exactly snorting rails at the Cambie, is it?
Not that that's what I want to do but I do want to be a bit rebellious and young when I go out. Is that wrong? All Dallas' friends are either married with kids so out of commission (at least together) as their kids are very young and someone needs to be at home with them or they are in new relationships and "playing house" and spending our nights out talking about possible dinner parties. Dinner parties? With you skinny fucks? No thanks! You don't even have condiments in your fridge! And also, boring. I'm inside being "good" all day: entertaining children, cooking them meals and trying not to swear in front of them. It's like I'm hosting a perpetual dinner party and guess what, it sucks!
I want to smoke drugs on my few hours off between driving the kids to their classes & appointments, doing the dishes and scrubbing shit stains out of undies. I want to listen to loud rock music, swear, tell bawdy jokes and rub some fucking thighs (in jest, of course!). I feel like I'm on crazy pills!!!!! Why does everyone have to be a stick in the mud or, conversely, why do I have to be so crazy and want to do these things?
xoxo
We need to plan a trip just you and I somewhere. Montreal? Or do you have somewhere else in mind. I'm easy peasy.
It might not be for a year or two but it will give me something to look forward to.
On another note: Dallas has banned me from going out with his friends as I become so drunk and disorderly. Last time I rubbed his friends thigh, the guys did my hair (where did they get elastics from, and why did I let them do it?), I passed out in my booth, and then puked on the way home. In our car. :( It was chinese food from Genesis. Vermicelli...anyway....
I had a blast though and wasn't at all hungover the next day. Yah!
So now I have no friends here which sucks. I have a clothes club with Granny (you meet once a month to bitch with a bunch of ladies and eat treats and everyone puts in $25 dollars and then we draw names to see who wins the pot. All the money has to be spent on something for yourself (purse, coat, shoes, etc.) It's fun but it's not exactly snorting rails at the Cambie, is it?
Not that that's what I want to do but I do want to be a bit rebellious and young when I go out. Is that wrong? All Dallas' friends are either married with kids so out of commission (at least together) as their kids are very young and someone needs to be at home with them or they are in new relationships and "playing house" and spending our nights out talking about possible dinner parties. Dinner parties? With you skinny fucks? No thanks! You don't even have condiments in your fridge! And also, boring. I'm inside being "good" all day: entertaining children, cooking them meals and trying not to swear in front of them. It's like I'm hosting a perpetual dinner party and guess what, it sucks!
I want to smoke drugs on my few hours off between driving the kids to their classes & appointments, doing the dishes and scrubbing shit stains out of undies. I want to listen to loud rock music, swear, tell bawdy jokes and rub some fucking thighs (in jest, of course!). I feel like I'm on crazy pills!!!!! Why does everyone have to be a stick in the mud or, conversely, why do I have to be so crazy and want to do these things?
xoxo
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